It seems like every guy now that I have any remote relationship with, ends up falling in love with me. After two dates and spending the night once, this guy wanted to be completely exclusive. Another time, after a month, he started balling his eyes out because I thought we weren't a match. He started pestering me and trying to win me back for a while, because he has never fallen so hard for someone before. Again, after hanging out with some other guy a couple times, two weeks, he told me he loves me (and still does). He'll wait for me.
I'm flattered, really. I'm happy that I can be this spectacular girl that wins their hearts in an instant, but at the same time, am I leading them on? There has to be something I'm doing than just being incredible that makes them this way. Unless, this is just the way guys are. All in all, them falling for me so fast makes me hesitant to be more intimate with them. It happens with almost every relationship, and so I feel like I don't want to continue for if they don't captivate me in an instant, why continue, when there are plenty of other guys who will fall for me?
I regret if that notion though is because I have such an ideal guy in my head that I can't just let myself love. To be completely Oedipus Rex, I want to date my dad, for the fact that he is my hero. My dad adopted me when I was 12, and has completely made me do a 180 with the way I approach life. He is unbelievably the nicest guy I have ever met. I have never had a fight with him, and I would much rather tell my dad anything than my mom. My dad may get mad, but he understands and still wants to help when I fall flat on my face. He may not agree, but he appreciates the different viewpoint. So, I think as soon as I meet a guy and he doesn't have these amazing qualities like my dad encompasses, it's a no go.
I like a lot of guys, but I want to be captivated by them. I want this urge to see them. I guess I am afraid to let myself fall for them, if I'm not drooling over them in an instant. Though, perhaps it's more of me putting myself out there more in order to experience more, so I can make more informed decisions. I feel that college is almost a hinderance though, because my life revolves around classes and then going to my place to do homework. I should probably go out to a coffee shop 1-2x's a week next term. That sounds like a plan, yeah?
Alright, dating challenge, accepted. Updates on my dates will be surely posted.