Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Guy Trouble

Stuck. Don't know what to do. Lost.

I love you, but I want to love someone else.....
      It's kind of like that.

I love my boyfriend. He is utterly sweet. We've discussed moving in, getting married, kids—star crossed lovers, I would put it. However, lately, I've been having these underlying feelings that I don't really know what to do with. Certain things don't just set me off or are something I don't like, but fucking send me over the edge. The horrible thing is that they are more tendencies that he can't really help. It's just a part of his character. So it's not like how: my dad exaggerates a lot, my mom is an insane animal lover (worries too much), my friend smacks her lips. Ya know, little things like that. It's how he ACTS, that drives me up the wall. I'm not sure what to do with that.

So, I've been thinking about taking a break, but don't know what that would do to him. I think it'd be fine to "relearn" each other. Take the pressure off in a sense. However, I don't want to lose anything, but I also don't want to miss anything. (Please say you know what I'm talking about!) I want to experience dating other people. He's the only nice guy I've dated, so I feel like I'm being bias about that fact. But I catch myself all the time daydreaming about other guys, possibilities and what if's that I could be with.

The thing is that I want a MAN, and being the same height is kind of awkward sometimes. Plus, I like for guys to express their feelings, but he cries over everything! It's weird sometimes. I don't mean to be sexist, but sometimes, I want to be the girl in the relationship.

Ugh, so confused.